How to use people as a self development tool
We live in a day and age, where many people are taught to be very mindfull of not to offending anyone, but I believe it´´ s just as important to teach individuals how to deal with being offended and to take some aboutability for it.
Because not everyone want´ s to offend us. Sometimes we get offended based on our internal unresolved issues, and it´ s our responcibility to deal with that. Expecting everyone else to tip toe around our issues is selfish, but mostly unrealistic. People are not mind readers, therefore theres no way for them to know what triggers us or anybody else, since our triggers are completly unique. They´ re based on our previous experiences, which aren´ t obvious to anyone who doesn´´ t know us deeply.
Therefore it´ s important to work on our inner issues, and the more we work on them, the less we´ ll get offended / triggerd in general, no matter if someone offends / triggers us intentionally or unintentionaly.
Either way we can use the feeling of being triggered as a tool to self develop. Because if someone triggers us it´ s usually due to two main reasons :
- They said something we don´ t like, but deep down know / feel is true
- We are too fixated on the external attention, validation and approval due to low self esteem.
In both cases it is up to us to deal with it, since it´ s a result of our inner unresolved komplexes. Therefore be:
A) We figure out why we believe whatever they are saying is true / if it´ s true. In that case we can either change it, because it´ s clearly bothering us too, or we learn to accept it, if it´ s something we can´ t or don´ t want to change.
B) We build healthy self esteem. By building healthy self esteem, we eliminate the need for external acceptence, attention and or validation, making other peoples opinions of us more irelevant.